


‘S Wonderful, ‘S Marvelous

by TeaAndATale



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, Ski lodge AU, Steggy Secret Santa, Steggy Secret Santa 2018, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 11:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaAndATale/pseuds/TeaAndATale
Summary: Peggy’s been dreading her company’s weeklong business retreat at an upstate ski lodge until she makes an unexpected acquaintance.Steggy Secret Santa 2018 gift for take-me-to-ny





	‘S Wonderful, ‘S Marvelous

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Steggymas @take-me-to-ny. I had hoped to get this to you by Christmas, but it grew legs and what was supposed to be a short romp in the mountains full of the usual romcom clichés, became a whole big thing. I blame Steve and Peggy who would not shut up. Seriously this was not supposed to near anywhere near twenty-thousand words…  
> I hope you enjoy it and that it is fluffy enough for your tastes! Happy Holidays!
> 
> I also suggest enjoying it with your favorite drink of choice in a comfy spot as it's a long one.
> 
> This probably could have used another thorough look through, but it's so damn long and I wanted to get it out before the end of 2018. Oh well.

 

*****

**‘S Wonderful, ‘S Marvelous**

  *****

  
The two-and-a-half-hour drive upstate would have been beautiful, a calm reprieve from her stressful work life, if only this had been a true vacation. Instead, she is stuck on a chartered bus with a twenty-plus count of her co-workers.

Peggy can’t say that she had been looking forward to the ski lodge retreat, not after everything that happened with Fred, and having to now spend time in his presence outside of the office. But she knew what it would look like if she refused to attend.

Jealous. Weak. Emotional. _Jilted._

It’s that last one that cuts the worst. Sure, the aftermath of her breakup with Fred left her hurt, but these people didn’t appreciate her actual side of the story.

To the outsider, their long relationship simply fizzled, and Fred happened to bounce back into a new relationship first.

The fact that he fucked the college-aged intern and then fucked her out of promotion she was in line for seemed to get lost in translation somehow.

Her relationship with Fred had been complicated, and she had been having doubts for months. But she hadn’t expected the betrayals that came. She hadn’t expected to be blindsided.

She’d supported all his ambitions. She had moved across the ocean for him. And he didn’t have the decency to break up with her instead of blatantly cheating on her.

The disappointment was what lingered most.

Peggy blocked out the sound of the high-pitched giggles coming from the front of the bus where Fred and the former intern, now turned personal assistant, sat. She put in her headphones while working on some follow up emails.

Fred may have planned a week retreat insisting on no actual shop talk outside of their designated discussion meetings, but that didn’t mean Peggy would be following any of his suggestions. A long bus ride was as good time as any to work on some of her remaining end of the year reports. It was a more than welcome distraction.

The first sight of the lodge was breathtaking. It was picturesque, all decorated fully with garlands, wreaths and Christmas lights, despite it only just being the very start of December. Snow was powdered along the awnings and roof. There were kids running, throwing snowballs, their giggles filling the air. The sight made her feel a little warmer than her frosty exterior.

She pulled her bags from the bus and followed her group up the steps. She looked back distracted by the breathtaking view of the mountains and the tell-tale sight of the burgeoning bonfire just off the Main Lodge building.

Maybe there would be some upsides to this retreat.

 

*

 

He’s making his rounds, checking in on the lobby. He hovers, knowing Kristen can more than handle guests, but the new group checking in, is threatening to overwhelm his excellent front desk staff. It’s a loud group, most already tapping their toes impatiently, groaning and openly complaining about the wait, that their time was money. He recognizes the oozing essence of city slickers, New Yorkers fresh from Manhattan. It must be the company retreat that booked nearly the entire West block of cabins and suites.

He’s grateful for the business but he refuses to allow any guest to try to railroad or disrespect his staff. But he sees Kristen keeping a level head with the brown-haired man heading the group, even despite his blatant smirk, too smug for Steve’s taste.

He makes his way towards the door when he notices one of the group hanging back away from the rest of her company. She’s standing in front of his Toys for Tots donation display. For some reason the woman makes him pause. Her red peacoat, matching beret and the silky brown curls beneath it, stand out. But it’s the soft smile, and the concentrated gaze that have his interest piqued. Most people glance at his display, but quickly move their attention away from it. The woman brings her gloved hand up to touch his sign, and she traces the corners of the photos of past recipients of the Lodge’s donations. He then watches her pluck her wallet out of her purse and fold several bills into the monetary donation slot. He expects her to turn around and rejoin her group, but instead she stands poised, her eyes still carefully concentrated.

It makes him smile.

Steve watches her for another moment, watching as she rejoins the check-in line. No one notices her absence or subsequent reappearance, and no one turns to ask what had caught her attention. He smiles at the back of her figure as the line moves up then slips out the front door

 

*

 

Peggy makes the trek to the suite she is sharing with two other ladies. She would have preferred to have her own room, as she prefers her solitude and she doesn’t know these particular women well. But the suite is gorgeous. It’s cozy, with a compact kitchenette, a pair of armchairs in the shared living room, and thankfully, she has the private single bedroom. While the two ladies dump their luggage and head back to the Taproom in the Main Lodge where Fred promised to buy the first round of the night, Peggy hangs back, unpacking and settling in.

Her first order of business is to hang all her delicate clothing, starting with the red dress she brought for the following week’s surprise formal event. Well no longer a surprise. She shook her head in disbelief as she recalled Fred’s announcement just yesterday, that he and the former-intern were engaged and that on the second Friday night of their retreat, they would celebrate with dinner and dancing.

She held in her horrified expression and clapped politely before turning back to her emails and voicemails.

If Fred had hope to garner a reaction out of her by springing the news in such a fashion, the day before the retreat in the middle of the whole office, he would continue to be disappointed. That of course doesn’t mean she can’t show up looking utterly fabulous.

She hates knowing that as a female executive, her reputation is consistently at stake. It’s that thought, knowing how easily she could be called a wet blanket on the very first night, that instead of relaxing in bed, she freshens up and makes her way to join her coworkers at the bar. She walks slowly, enjoying the twinkling lights dotting every building, and the gentle snowflakes falling quietly from the dark sky. She thinks it’s the particularly frigid wind causing the outdoors to be seemingly abandoned already for the night.

Upon entering the bar, she can tell everyone’s already a few drinks deep, most noticeably Fred and two of the sales guys. She joins her roommates’ table after purchasing herself a glass of red wine. She listens to the drone of the table’s small talk: office gossip, assessments of various guests’ attractiveness, holiday plans, Christmas shopping lists. She joins in as best she can on the latter of the two, though her holiday plans are still up in the air. She expects it’s a good time as any to perhaps fly home to London instead of spending Christmas alone, though she is unaccustomed to taking more time off work than she deems necessary. Though that was when she felt she was essential to her company’s work. How quickly things can change.

She sips her wine slowly, trying to make it last as she keeps the small talk going at her table. But the bar starts to grow rowdy, with her coworkers starting to pound shot after shot at Fred’s behest, the conversation quickly becoming less and less polite.

Peggy’s head starts to hurt as she hears Fred start to brag about what he considers to be solely his accomplishment regarding the year’s record growth and profit to random other guests. As if his three-and-a-half-month tenure would be the cause of such prodigious growth. She excuses herself to the ladies’ room before she loses her cool and picks a fight, rolling her eyes once her back is turned away from her coworkers. She knows she likely won’t be missed, so instead of heading back to the bar, she veers off course, stumbling upon a little nook of a room.

She loves it immediately. There’s a fireplace, logs crackling away, and tall bookshelves covering the entire span of one wall. She sinks into one of the high-back stuffed lounge chairs and takes a deep breath. The quiet and empty library is an oasis. She revels in the peace and warmth as she focuses on pushing her anger and frustrations away.

 _You damn well know your worth_ , she thinks to herself.

She pulls the book sitting on the little side table between her chair the one next to it at random and flips to the first page. Words, books full of them, have always been a comfort.

Peggy smiles to herself, enjoying the feel of a book in her lap and the diverse and extensive collection of books on the shelves. She may have to borrow one after she finishes the novel she brought with her on the trip.

 

*

 

She’s bored. And irritated. As far as she can tell, the seven a.m. breakfast prior to the eight o’clock team break out session was not going to happen. She was the only one of four people at the Lodge’s breakfast. She eats perfect fluffy pancakes in peace, waiting out the arrival of at least one coworker, before she receives a text at seven-thirty from Fred in the group chat telling them all retreat activities would be postponed to after lunch.

Peggy groans though she supposes she cannot be entirely surprised. She can only imagine how late they were up drinking. She should have known not to rely on Fred’s schedule. She’s already caught up on her emails, so she pops in her headphones to catch up on the latest episode of her favorite podcast.

She doesn’t feel like going back to her room however, so she takes a tour of the perimeter of the Main Lodge, just to give herself something to do. The breeze is frosty, but the sun is already peeking through the clouds. She heads back to the lobby, unsure of how to fill her unexpected empty schedule.

Without really deciding on it, she heads back to the oasis of the library to take advantage of a rare morning off. She plops herself down into the same spot she had occupied the previous night, sighing at the warming relief of the fireplace.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees movement, and startles so hard she nearly falls out of the chair at the sight of the body sitting in the armchair next to her.

“Bloody Nora!” she exclaims, clutching at her chest, popping the headphones out.

The figure sets his book down and eyes her in concern.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” comes a gentle masculine voice.

She’s still trying to catch her breath, but she shakes her head. “Nothing to apologize for. You were here before me, I just didn’t realize I wasn’t alone. Damn these comfortable but deep armchairs. I swear you can’t see anything if you’re sitting all the way back.”

The man has kind eyes and his expression is soft in amusement.

“Well I still apologize for jump starting your morning like that,” he tells her with a chuckle.

She waves him off, stuffing her headphones into her pocket, her breathing now coming back under control.

“I’ve been up for hours,” she says. “Though admittedly that was probably more effective than coffee, though that smells incredibly good right now.” She points to his still steaming mug.

He nods. “It’s very good. There’s a fresh pot. You been up for hours without a cup of coffee?”

She smiles. “I prefer to start my mornings with a cup of tea. When I can manage it and I’m being good. Otherwise I will overload on caffeine before ten which is not so nice when you’re making repeated trips to the restroom.”

He laughs, and the sound is so pleasing she feels an odd warmth spreading in her. With her nervous system now under control, she takes full stock of her company. His hair is blond and on the perfect side of neat but tousled. He’s wearing a thick but fitted pullover sweater and boots that definitely point to an interest in the outdoor activities of the ski lodge. Even without his smile he’d be handsome, but there’s something in his smile that makes her heart thump harder than it usually would at spotting an attractive someone.

“Well I definitely recommend a cup. Nothing like cozying up with a hot beverage and a fire.”

Peggy hums. “I love how many fireplaces this place has. And to have a library with one is a dream.”

The stranger smiles. “It’s a good combo. Are you enjoying some skiing?”

“Oh. Well I’m here with a group. A company retreat actually. We were supposed to hit the slopes after our morning activities. Which were postponed. So I have a feeling that skiing will not end up on the agenda for today. Which is unfortunate because to be honest, the skiing was the only part of this trip that I was looking forward to and it looks like the weather is perfect today.”

He nods. “Are you a big skier?”

“I skied a bit in my youth. My parents used to take my brother and I on holiday to ski in the Alps. But I haven’t been in several years.”

“Well then I hope you get to enjoy the slopes very soon.”

She smiles with a nod. “Have you been out on the slopes already yourself?”

He nods. “There’s quite a few courses. Good range for beginners hills’ to more advanced slopes.”

Peggy sighs. “I have half a mind to just go and enjoy it, but it’s our first retreat day. Not that anyone else seems to be taking it at all seriously.”

“Change of plans?”

“Not quite. As far as I can tell, most of my coworkers overstayed their welcome at the bar and are too hungover to be function. So more like a lack of plans entirely at this point.”

“Ah. Well that’s unfortunate.” He angles himself in her direction. “Well if you have some time to fill, there’s still a lot to see if you still want to do something outdoorsy, since the weather is looking to be good this morning. There’s a lot of hiking trails. There’s a nice little trail to an overlook that’s an easy trek from the Lodge. There’s maps at the front desk.”

She smiles. “That’s a nice idea. Thanks for the tip. I think I’ll go grab some a cup of coffee first. Do you mind if I sit in here as well?”

He returns the smile. “Not at all.”

She leaves her jacket in the armchair and goes to get herself a mug. She returns and the man is still there, his attention back on his book. He looks up with another smile and tips his own mug in her direction. Peggy relaxes back in the chair, putting her podcast back on, enjoying the fireplace.

She’s long absorbed in the book she started the previous day, headphones now playing music when her companion stands. He waves and gives her a smile before he heads out the door. Peggy reads another chapter before standing up and stretching. She gets another coffee, this time in a to-go cup and heads to the front desk for the trail maps.

 

*

 

By Saturday morning she is grumpy. She’s beyond frustrated with how Fred is running the retreat.

She’s up early again, heading to the café for something to eat and a morning sit down in the library. Today she has her notebook open, jotting down talking points, hoping to bring purpose to today’s retreat meeting, and also speed it up. She thinks having a topic, any at all, would help immensely.

Peggy had a feeling that Fred hadn’t been serious about the business aspect to the retreat, however she didn’t account for the fact that he was winging absolutely everything. She had assumed that with his promotion he was trying to set the tone, actually trying to foster some company development, even if for his own selfish benefit. Though she supposes he is, only in the form of plying alcohol and dismissing any of her attempts to bring back the discussion to real topics.

Her jaw clenches at the memory and she makes an effort to dismiss it. He wasn’t worth her anger.

“Good morning,” she hears. It’s the stranger from yesterday. He’s wearing that soft smile and she finds herself staring at it until he sits down beside her.

“Good morning,” she replies.

“Any chance you made it onto the slopes yesterday?”

  
She shakes her head. “No, unfortunately not. I had such a headache after my group’s meetings that the evening was sort of a wash.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“But I did enjoy the walk to the overlook very much. Thank you for the suggestion. I took some coffee to go, and they have snowshoes you can rent so I did that.”

He grins at her. It makes her feel at peace, something in that smile that feels genuine and kind.

“Well I’m glad to hear your morning was at least a little better than the rest of your day.”

She snorts. “Unfortunately I don’t think today will go the same way.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“Our professional development seminar yesterday was a joke. I get it, we’re on a sort of vacation vibe, but if we’re going to block out times for business-related meetings, I would prefer to use them than waste everyone’s time. Apparently, the planning wasn’t so thorough, so I thought I’d bring some topics to keep us on topic, that way we can end on schedule. Work hard, play hard and all that.”

He nods. “Put in the time, then enjoy the slopes.”

“That’s the goal.”

“Well if you’re bringing topics I’m sure it’ll roll better than yesterday. Sometimes people get a little rowdy their first night and forget there’s still professional parts. I’m sure you will all be laughing it off on a bunny hill soon.”

“I hope.” She closes her notebook. “I’m Peggy, by the way. Peggy Carter. I don’t think we properly introduced ourselves yesterday.”

He smiles and holds out his hand. “Steve Rogers. It’s nice to meet you Peggy.”

Her phone chimes with a text from Fred regarding needing her to email him the final year reports that she had already sent him. She rolls her eyes and forwards them again, attaching the original email just so he knew how full of shit he was.

“I should get going. Long morning ahead. I’m going to need coffee.”

“I hope things go better than expected. Have a good day.”

 

*

 

After the unmitigated disaster of a future projections discussion, where every time she tried to explain the reports that she developed alone, Fred would chime in with a contradicting and incorrect opinion that she swears was just to spite her.

“Don’t worry Peg, leave the heavy lifting of the figures to us experienced professionals.”

It had taken all her control not to dress him down, and possibly deck him, right there in front of the chuckling morons from sales. As soon as Fred called it a day calling for another celebration, she marched out of the Lodge and towards the mountain.

She queues up for the rental and lift alone. She does her best to shake Fred off. Of course, his opinions don’t matter. Still, she feels the after effect of pretending not to feel the sting of his barbs, so as to not come across as an unprofessional, emotional or weak leader. As usual, she waits until she’s alone, and then she lets herself feel the whole weight of her emotions as she sits alone on the ski lift.

“May I join you?”

She looks over in surprise. It’s Steve and he’s in full ski gear as well. She can’t help but smile.

“Hello Steve. Of course, be my guest.”

He returns the smile before making himself comfortable next to her.

“So you finally made it up on the slopes.”

She nods. “I decided not to wait any longer. I’m allowed to enjoy myself if everyone else is too.”

“That’s the spirit. Did your group postpone again?”

“We did go tobogganing. Which was fun, don’t get me wrong, but we did two runs and now they’re headed to the bar for a few drinks first. I told them alcohol and skiing don’t mix. And well… Instead of putting off my own enjoyment, I figured if I want to go skiing I should just go.”

“Good for you. There’s always attendants on the courses if you need a buddy or just need to feel safer.”

“Yes, I read that in the brochure which helped me decide to just forge on. Have you been up already?”

“Not today. I was actually planning to warm up on the bunny hill before heading up to a few other slopes. Would you like to join me?”

“Oh, if it’s no bother. Some company would be nice.”

“Great!”

She likes his easygoing and warm smile. He asks her more about tobogganing, and they get to chatting about other favorite winter activities, with Steve having her in fits of giggles over a story of one of his early sledding experiences where he fell face first into a snow pile.

Skiing is exactly the rush she remembers it to be, the exact sort of release she needed. Steve is good company and there’s something particularly bonding to be practically flying down the side of a mountain with a near stranger. They’re both giggling and in good spirits at the bottom of the bunny course. They swap skiing stories as they head from slope to slope. She can’t recall the last time she found it so easy to talk to someone new.

Peggy skis all afternoon, hitting slope after slope until the sun has set and her stomach rumbles. She heads back to her room with a big smile on her face, proud and wide. It felt like it had been much too long since her last carefree smile.

She orders room service, takes a long hot shower and feels totally content to snuggle into  
bed early with a book.

 

*

 

She wakes up early, feeling the pull of the mountain despite her slightly sore muscles. She decides she’s going to make it a point to go ski again, even if only for a few runs. The sun is still far from rising so she heads for breakfast and coffee first.

Peggy practically runs into Steve leaving breakfast. He gently presses a hand to her arm to keep her from toppling over.

“Sorry Peggy,” he grins sheepishly.

“That’s alright. You seem to be a reliable wake up call.”

He laughs. “Big plans today?”

“Skiing definitely. As soon as the sun rises. I feel the pull of the mountain.”

“I know that feeling well.”

“What about you? Are you going to be on the slopes today?”

“Not today. I have some other plans for the afternoon. I was just going to grab some coffee and relax before starting my day.”

“Oh.”

“Did you have a cup of coffee yet?”

“No not yet. That was my next plan.”

“Can I bring you one?”

“Sure,” she says, feeling slightly breathless and feeling her heart beating a little irregularly.

He smiles and asks for her sugar and cream preferences before pointing to the cafe. “I’ll meet you in the library?”

“I’ll be there,” she says. She browses the shelves while she waits, trying to calm her sudden nervous energy. She picks a book with a promising cover and sets it on her usual chair.

Steve returns a few moments later with big mugs, setting them down on the table between their chairs. He then sets a paper bag on the table, offering her the muffin inside.

“The blueberry muffins are fantastic,” he tells her, pushing it closer to her.

She grins, taking a large chunk. It melts in her mouth.

“Oh,” she lets out a little moan, “This Lodge has amazing food. I swear if it weren’t for this stupid retreat this would be the perfect place.”

His mouth stretches in a wide grin. He’s wearing a blue cable knit sweater that brings out the blue in his eyes in such a way that she’s having a hard time concentrating.

“Are you doing anything with your group today?”

She shrugs. “Who knows for sure? There was talk of an excursion, though my suspicions are that it won’t happen. Nothing business related as far as I know.”

“It must be nice to have a little bit of a break from work though.”

“Yes, I suppose so. Though I’m a bit unused to it. I haven’t taken much time off in the last few years. I suppose I’ve got workaholic tendencies…”

“You’re dedicated. That’s not a bad quality.”

She chuckles. “I suppose. I’m so unused to having a real day off, that for this retreat to be ten days long…” She shrugs. “I know I should enjoy as much of it as I can. Yes, this retreat is frustrating, but it’s also meant to be a break, and I do want to take advantage of it. I don’t mean to sound like such a grinch.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t give me that impression. You recognize the value of other’s people’s time and efforts. You’re someone who doesn’t appreciate her time wasted.”

She’s a bit taken aback by his appraisal. Even more so that he’s hit the nail on the head of something she hadn’t quite put into words herself.

“Yes. That’s quite exactly right.”

He nods. “Trust me, I understand. I’ve been in plenty of situations where I felt my value was dismissed, where I knew I was giving more than I was getting, and there wasn’t even an acknowledge of the time I would put in. It becomes toxic.”

She nods absently, her mind a whirlwind of work memories full of frustration, undue anxiety and a general sense of being on her own. It’s not what she had wanted out of her professional life. Not where she had expected to be.

She sighs and can tell Steve feels sorry for bringing it up in the first place. He steers the conversation back to lighter topics, and though the lingering work frustrations reside within her, a small weight has been lifted in the small act of having someone listen and understand.

Long after she and Steve part ways with smiles and waves, she feels lighter again as she feels the wind against her face as she skis downhill.

 

*

 

At dinner, which she and her group have together, the Lodge having pushed several tables together to accommodate their number, Peggy can’t help but keep an eye out for Steve. She wants to tell him about her afternoon, wants to share the cute story of a father and young daughter duo on the bunny hill together, both wearing silly bunny-earned beanies. She wants to tell him she had grown confident in her skills again in order to perform some easy jumps. She wants to see his cute smile and wonder about how soft his hair would feel under her fingers. She wants the simple company of someone who felt like a kindred spirit.

She even lingers in the lobby as her group starts their nightly retreat to the bar, just in case he heads in there. She considers finding the right way to ask the woman at the front desk about him. Then she considers the fact that maybe he had already checked out, and all she has is his name.

Then she spots Elizabeth, one of the slope attendants who she spent time with on both of her ski adventures. She smiles at Peggy with a half wave before walking up to the woman at the front desk.

“Hey Kristen, have you seen Steve around?” she overhears Elizabeth ask.

“Haven’t seen him since this morning. Is something wrong?”

“No, I just wanted to see if he’s heard from the electrician about the ski rental booth. The power’s been shoddy for a few days now and people keep complaining about the lack of wifi. Even though really, they shouldn’t need it up on the slopes, surely they can wait to post their Instagram photos once they’ve made it safely down the mountain.”

Kristen snorts. “I haven’t heard but I can tell Steve you’re looking for him if I see him.”

“Thanks. I think I’ll check the library to see if boss man is hiding from us in there.”

“I’m just hoping he actually decided to take part of his day off actually off,” Kristen replies with a laugh.

“I’ll believe it when I see it but I hope so too. See you later.”

Peggy’s heart is in her throat and she feels like a complete idiot.

No wonder he never mentioned any details about his trip. Steve wasn’t a guest. He worked at the Lodge. Suddenly all the helpful tips and suggestions made complete sense. And it hits Peggy that he wasn’t being kind to her because he was interested, he was making one of his guests enjoy their stay.

And if the library was his hiding spot… She’d practically been stalking him in there. And she’d gone on and on complaining about her retreat. She closes her eyes, bites her lip to prevent any swearing and walks straight out of the lobby. She sinks into her bed completely deflated, unable to stop the feeling of horrible embarrassment.

And here she thought there would be something nice to come out of her stay, maybe even a new friend.

She sighed to herself and pulled her laptop out. The best way to distract herself had always been to dive into her work.

 

*

 

Peggy wakes as early as ever but doesn’t venture outside of her room. She refuses to step anywhere near the Main Lodge until she needs to, and she definitely will be avoiding the library.  
She pulls her laptop out and continues the work she started the previous night. She waits for her roommates to wake up to join them for the team breakfast, though it’s hours since her stomach first started rumbling. She had decided the previous night to redouble her efforts to bring some positivity from the retreat, to take the time to bond with her coworkers.

The morning is spent in one of the conference rooms and they have a decent breakout session discussing client relations and potential new customers. She has enough figures from her reports to back up the ideas being thrown out. She sees Fred’s jaw working a little too hard to keep a toothy grin on his face, but he doesn’t comment.

After lunch, they had arranged for a team-building course. They split into three teams, Fred immediately calling Captain of the first, while Peggy takes the second position. Fred seems to think it fair to dictate the distribution of the teams, his team male-dominated apart from his fiancée, and it makes Peggy’s eye roll.

He’s never learned to make more strategic decisions.

Peggy quickly assesses her team’s strengths and they lay out a real plan for the part relay race, part scavenger hunt, part ropes course.

What surprises her most is that it’s fun. Her teammates actively encourage her strategy ideas and jump in readily. Apparently, she’s not the only one who would like to beat Fred’s team. The competitive spirit is high, and with proper planning, her team quickly earns a lead over the other two teams.

Peggy ends up head-to-head with Fred on the final portion of the ropes course, and though she can hear the hooting and hollering from the ground, and the surefire sound of Fred’s voice, no doubt taunting her, she stays focused. She climbed trees better than anyone as a kid. She was not going to get beat by Fred Wells. As she makes the final climb, she can hear a change in the tone coming from below. She forges on. It’s only when her shoes hit the ground and she passes the flags to her team at the finish line that she looks back to see Fred still making the final climb, his team’s flags flapping in the breeze, the wind carrying them further and further from the finish line.

Her team is screaming out victory chants, and she’s certain if they weren’t so enthusiastic about Peggy’s leg up on their boss, that Fred would have called her a show off in front of them all. Instead, he grits his teeth, arms crossed as he storms off, pushing his fiancée’s arm from his shoulder. Peggy turns away and receives several high-fives in return, some even from their other rivals impressed with their victory over Fred.

After the shuttle drops them back off at the Lodge, as she heads in for dinner Fred passes her with his fiancée and throws her an ugly glare. She sighs under her breath and shakes her head. She won’t rise to the bait. It’s been a good day. That’s all that matters.

She even joins her team around the bonfire with a round of mulled wine. It’s an enjoyable evening though as the evening continues, she doesn’t feel like she belongs to the conversation anymore. While her coworkers get up to get something stiffer to warm them up at the bar, Peggy chooses to go for a walk instead. She decides to stop at the little kiosk serving the mulled wine but this time orders a hot chocolate.

“Hi Peggy!” comes a cheerful familiar voice from behind her.

Her heart stutters a little and in lieu of having to reply right away she takes a gulp of scalding hot cocoa.

“Shit!” she exclaims as her throat burns.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just too hot.”

And speaking of hot. He’s wearing a red checkered flannel that is working for him…

His eyes are bright with amusement.

“How was your day?”

“Um, it was fine,” she replies stiffly.

“I didn’t see you this morning. I figured maybe you actually had an early start this morning.”

“Yes fairly early.”

She feels so awkward. How pathetic of a guest must she be if he feels the need to check up on her.

“Well that’s good.”

“Yes…”

His eyebrows raise but he’s still smiling. “Was there anything fun today?”

“You don’t have to do this,” Peggy blurts out.

“’Scuse me?” He looks confused, looking around as if she could possibly be talking to anyone else.

“I um… You don’t have to continue to be so friendly. I know it’s your job.”

“My job.”

“You know since you work here. Which is great! I just… I apologize for wasting any of your time. Or if I was disturbing your hiding spot.”

“Disturbing my hiding spot?” he repeats, the amusement back in his expression in full force.

“Um, the library?”

“And who told you that?”

“I may have overhead Elizabeth mention it…”

He chuckles. “Not much of a hiding spot if it’s a public space, but I guess I understand.”

She nods awkwardly. “Right. I just assumed… It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry for disrupting you.” She gives a half wave and turns away from him.

“Wait. Peggy.”

She bites her lip before placing a neutral smile on her face and then turns around.

“You weren’t disrupting me.”

“Yeah but you just work here. You didn’t need to hear some random guest complain about her over-the-top expensive company retreat. Or bring me coffee. I mean I’m sure you’ve charged the room. Which is good! You should!”

His grin quirks up on one side. “Peggy, if I didn’t enjoy your company or conversation, I have other actual hiding spots. Like my actual office.” She stands awkwardly, not sure how to respond. “Hold on.” He jogs back to the kiosk and returns with his own cup of cocoa. He gestures to the path and for whatever reason her feet decide to follow his. “I um… I guess I should apologize too. I wasn’t forthright about the fact that I’m not actually a guest.”

“No, really I just assumed…” She trails off and takes another sip to fill the silence.

“Well I do work here. I own it, actually. The Lodge.”

Peggy stops in her tracks. “You’re the owner? Really?”

He grins. “That surprising?”

“No! I mean it’s not that. I just… again assumptions. I just figured you were the manager or something.”

He holds up a gloved finger and digs into his pocket. He pulls out his wallet and then hands her a card from it. His business card.

 _Steve Rogers_  
_Owner_

He rocks back and forth on his heels. She takes full stock of him again.

“Wow, Steve! You must be so proud to own this wonderful place.”

He smiles. “I am, thank you.” Steve puts his wallet away and gestures for Peggy to continue walking.

“Well… I guess that explains why I kept bumping into you everywhere.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I’m around a lot. I make it a point to be. I do have a day and night manager, though I like to help daily operations as much as I can. I never wanted to be the kind of owner that wasn’t around and lost touch. I never wanted to make any of my workers feel like I was superior to the work they were doing for me.”

She smiles. “That’s wonderful Steve. Good for you.”

He returns her smile. “And I would like to be clear that yes, I do want to ensure all my guests are having an enjoyable stay. However, that is not the primary reason I’ve wanted to continue talking with you. Maybe it’s a little strange but I enjoy your company. I can’t remember having anyone join me in the library in the mornings.”

She’s glad it’s dark outside, and that even if it wasn’t, she’d have the cold as an excuse for her reddening cheeks.

“A little strange,” she agrees, “but I enjoyed our conversations too. I um… actually had the strange urge after the end of our day to tell you about it.”

He grins. “I’d love to hear.”

They walk and talk, Steve laughing heartily at her retelling of the ropes course. Before she’s even realized how far they’ve gone, they’re at the overlook Steve had first suggested. They stop there, still in the peaceful winter night, their breaths visible in front of them.

“This place is gorgeous Steve,” she breaths out, looking at the mountains in the distance, and the lights of the towns below. “May I ask how long you’ve owned it?”

“It’s been in my family for decades. My grandparents’ left it to me. It’s our sixth year since fully reopening.”

“And you’re thriving!”

He shrugs a little sheepishly. “It took me a while to find my footing. The first couple of years were really rough. I actually grew up in the city.”

“Oh?”

“I’m actually a Brooklyn kid. Though I spent a lot of time up here especially when I was a kid. My dad died when I was young, and so his parents always tried to fill that void, my Grandpa especially. Took me skiing, snowboarding, camping, even tried to get me interested in hunting even though it only made me sick to my stomach. He still wanted me to be able to handle a gun just in the case of a wild animal attack, but we stuck to skeet shooting and the range after that. I was a really awkward kid, who preferred the library and doodling, so I think he thought teaching me as many wilderness skills or outdoorsy things would make me fit in with the kids back in Brooklyn. Lemme tell you, boy were kids unimpressed with my camping and skeet shooting stories. If you couldn’t play basketball or football you were toast.”

She smiles. “But the city kid in you came up here anyway.”

He chuckles. “Yeah I guess so.”

“Do you miss the big city life at all?”

“Sometimes. There’s still a sense of home. But New York burned me out, and now that both of my parents are gone, staying there didn’t make sense.”

She leans a little closer, and before she can think twice about it, she presses her gloved hand around his arm for a quick squeeze. Their eyes meet and for a moment they lapse into silence.

“I understand about the city burning you out. Sometimes I feel like that too. Though, I wonder if it’s really myself to blame.”

“Work, you mean?”

She nods slowly. “Work, and I suppose my life in general. It goes hand-in-hand more than I think you realize when you’re young. Everyone always talks about finding work you enjoy, but it’s never that simple. I do enjoy my work. I know I bring a lot to the table. And maybe I’m not doing enough to change my own situation, but you take a chance, plant some roots, and then years later you find yourself in a situation you never wanted. You work day and night, and it’s not that you want the attention, but just some recognition, some sense of… respect I suppose for the time and sacrifice you put in, only for it to leave you empty.”

He frowns. “I felt a lot of that in the last few years before leaving.”

“What about now?”

His smile returns. “I feel much lighter. Are there bad days? Sure. You can’t account for the random wrenches that life throws your way. But I’m my own boss. I get to set the tone I want. I get to make the decisions I want on my own terms. I needed that.”

“You chose your own new beginning. And then worked for it. That’s amazing Steve. Inspiring actually.”

He chuckles, and though it’s dark the way he’s rubbing at his neck and cheek, she just knows he’s gone a little red at the compliment.

They lapse back into silence, both taking in the sights. Her cocoa is long gone, and she knows it’s cold outside, but she feels just right standing there next to him. After a while, they turn to head back up the path.

“So tell me what’s on the agenda tomorrow,” he says with a grin.

She returns it and they start up the conversation once again.

 

*

 

Peggy wakes with a smile on her face and a dreamy image of Steve smiling still playing in her head. It makes her lounge in bed for longer than she normally would.

She continues to be in a daze as she makes her way to breakfast, smiling against the bright sun in the cloudless sky.

At the start of the path up to the Main Lodge, Peggy spots a dark horse hitched up to a post. It’s beautiful and she decides to take a more careful look. She approaches cautiously and keeps her distance while the horse calmly looks back at her.

She hears the horse snort softly and her tail swings, but it seems calm otherwise. Peggy smiles, admiring the dark mane, and the white spots on its nose.

“Well aren’t you a beauty,” she says to the horse.

“See girl, I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Peggy whips her head around to find Steve a few steps away, his hands in his pockets and openly grinning at her.

“This is your horse?”

He nods. “We have quite a few horses, but Rosie here has been with him for almost fifteen years. I chose her and I was luckily enough for her to choose me back.” He steps closer and his horse nickers at his presence and he gives her a few pats to her back. “Isn’t that right Rosie?”

Rosie moves as much as she can, her head nudging Steve’s arm before resting over his shoulder.

“Oh! She’s beautiful.”

He laughs. “And sneaky. I know you smell the snacks.” Steve pulls a bag out. “Do you want to feed her?”

“If it’s okay.”

“Rosie’s really friendly,” he assures her. He passes her the carrots and Rosie immediately leaves Steve’s side to nose at her hand. “Easy Rosie, there’s plenty of carrots to munch on.”

Peggy laughs. “She’s a surprisingly gentle eater with all her enthusiasm.”

“Enthusiastic yes, but she’s not a heathen. She has table manners like a proper lady.” Peggy can’t help but laugh again. “Do you like horses?”

Peggy nods. “I learned to ride on this sweet Welsh Cob when I was at school. His name was Georgie. I may have sort of stolen him…”

Steve guffaws. “You stole a horse?”

“Well I was young and I wanted to have adventures. To be Robin Hood, or King Arthur, so I got caught up in my imagination and Georgie was a good sport. We set out into the woods in pursuit of robbers. I suppose I forgot we weren’t supposed to leave the grounds. My brother thought it was hilarious, but my mother sure didn’t agree.”

Steve doubles over in laughter. “I can just picture that. You having a grand adventure and your parents freaking out.”

Peggy smiles fondly at the memory. “I don’t think I’ve been riding since Secondary School. Can I pet her?” she asks Steve once the carrots are gone.

“Sure. I’ll show you her favorite spot.” He pats a spot on her back that makes Rosie nicker softly. Then he lifts his hand and directs Peggy’s to it. “See? She likes you. Though I’d appreciate it if you didn’t steal my horse.”

She snorts and swats at his arm with her free hand as she continues to pet Rosie.

“Do you… It would have to be short, but would you take Rosie for a quick trot?”

“Really? I don’t want to keep you. I’m sure you have a busy morning.”

“I offered. Besides, Rosie needs to stretch her legs.” He slips the knots tethering Rosie to the hitch post and before offering his hand. “You remember how to get up Robin of Locksley, or do you need my help?”

She glares at his amused smile, puts her boot into the stirrup and takes Steve hand for leverage. The skin-to-skin contact makes her hand tingle once she’s swung her right leg over. She immediately remembers the exhilaration of riding a horse.

Steve clicks his tongue and Rosie starts a very slow pace.

“Come on Rosie, let’s show Miss Peggy around, shall we?”

Even with the slow pace of Steve leading Rosie around for her, Peggy still finds it thrilling, the sound of hoofs crunching softly in the snow.

“This is perfect Steve.”

“Well it’s no high-speed chase pursuit of bandits, but it makes for a nice morning trot.”

She giggles, her laughter ringing out loud and free. After finishing a loop of several cabins, Steve leads her back near the Main Lodge.

“Thank you Steve. And Rosie. This has been a perfect unexpected surprise to start my morning.”

Steve grins. “You’re very welcome.” He holds Rosie tight but doesn’t mount her just yet. “We’re going to roast marshmallows and chestnuts at the bonfire tonight at seven-thirty. You should come if you have some free time.”

“Alright,” she agrees, matching his grin.

He swings himself into the saddle. “Alright Rosie my pretty girl, time to get you back to the stables huh?”

Peggy bites her lip in amusement as she watches him muss Rosie’s dark mane before brushing it back. “I see you have a thing for brunettes,” she teases.

Steve looks at her carefully, head tilting slightly, and Peggy realizes that she may have said something stupid that he would take seriously. He continues to eye her before his lips quirk up into a half-smile.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

He grins at her for a moment longer before galloping off with Rosie. She stares after them, her chest warm.

 

*

 

Steve has just finished dropping off supplies Kristen asked for at the front desk when he hears raised voices near the Conference Room in the back.

“… fuck’s sake Peggy. You’re not in charge here remember? And if your think it’s not obvious you’re trying to make me look bad—”

It’s that same guy that smirked at Kristen too much during check-in. Steve’s fists immediately clench.

“Make you look bad? By bringing any semblance of structure to your little romp of a retreat? I was helping you bring things back to a purpose. Do us all a favor and take ownership of the fact that your own lack of leadership is making yourself look bad.”

“God your jealousy is making you act like a self-centered bitch.”

“My jealousy? Over your waste of a retreat? We’ve only completed half of the things on the agenda because you’re taking everyone out drinking every single night until the crack of dawn. Which clearly is what you had wanted to do instead of an actual business retreat. So do me a favor and at least own that. Otherwise button those big-boy pants, put your COO hat on that you so proudly wave and bring something to the table.”

He grabs her wrist and Steve almost loses all control. Peggy jerks her arm out of his hold and presses her own hand to twist at his arm.

“Do not touch me. You do not have permission to touch me. And if you ever grab at me again you will be sorry,” she says in a low voice.

The guy rubs at his arm once she lets go and glares at her so unkindly he wants to shove Peggy behind him so she doesn’t have to bear anything to so ugly.

“You know what Peg, nobody likes a frigid self-important bitch.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Grow up Fred. You already have the job, why are still acting like I’m fighting you for it? And I say this from deep, deep down, it will be your own behavior that will cause your downfall, not that unexperienced, emotional, naïve, weak bitch Peggy Carter you purport me to me. The only thing I’m aiming for Freddy, is keeping these retreat meetings on topic so as to have something positive to say on our return to the office when corporate asks for my report.”

Steve is frozen in place, his fists tight at his sides. He’s about to step forward to interfere but Peggy clearly is done with the situation and marches out the side door.

 

*

 

The bonfire is surrounding by a gaggle of cheerful kids and their parents once Peggy joins the group. She spots Steve sitting in the middle of several bundled-up kids, attending to the passing out of marshmallows and skewers.

As she gets closer she realizes that they’re singing Christmas carols, the chorus of them currently working their way through Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

“But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?” she hears Steve asking dramatically in sing-song.

The kids giggle as they answer him in shouts. The sight makes Peggy smile uncontrollably. She sits down in an empty spot on a log in the outside ring. She watches Steve sing along, watching as he checks on the chestnuts roasting in the fire. It’s as they start up Jingle Bell Rock that Steve notices her. He waves at her with a smile. She returns it and accepts a marshmallow and skewer from the woman sitting next to her.

She stays through the concert, scarfing down five marshmallows and several chestnuts from the basket Steve passed around. The holidays may be a few weeks off, but there’s such a sense of joy around the bonfire, she doesn’t mind the early start to the season of caroling.

The crowd thins as parents leave with their yawning little ones. Others leave for warm drinks or their rooms. Peggy feels no pull to head back to her lonely room.

The sound of someone sliding next to her takes her out of her thoughts.

“Hey Peggy.”

“Hello Steve.”

“Interested in another batch of chestnuts?”

“Sure.”

He gestures to the bench he was sitting previously, much closer to the fire. She follows him. She lapses back into silence, lost in her thoughts as she stares into the flames. A pop coming from one of the roasting chestnuts brings her back to present.

“Sorry. I spaced out. Did you say something?”

Steve shakes his head but there’s an intense look in his gaze. He shuffles the chestnuts, turning them over before returning his attention back to her.

“Are you alright?” he asks in a soft voice.

She nods wordlessly, picking at her coat. “I will be.”

“Not the best day?”

“Not exactly.”

He clears his throat. “Can I ask about that arrogant asshole you work with?”

“Who? Fred?”

Steve shrugs. “If that’s the name of the vile man I heard call you names.” Her eyes go wide. “I overhead the tail end of your argument in the Lodge.”

Peggy sighs, embarrassment of their exchange being overheard. “That would be Fred.”

She can hear his sharp intake of breath. “Can’t you say something to someone?”

“It’s slightly complicated,” she says with a shrug. "He’s technically my boss.”

“That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be held accountable.”

“No… But he’s also my ex,” she admits, “so you can see how HR wouldn’t necessarily consider any of my complains um… unbiased. And my work situation already feels a little tenuous.”

“Oh.”

Something in the look in eyes, still kind, still sympathetic makes her emotions spill over onto her stiff-upper lip British countenance. She drops her head into her hands and fights the coming tears.

“Peggy,” she hears softly, and a gentle tentative hand rests on her shoulder.

“Bloody hell,” she mutters under her breath.

“You can talk to me.”

She sighs, wiping at her eyes, glancing at his concerned expression from the corner of her eye. “There’s so much to say.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

His hand brushes down her arm once before returning to his lap. And it all starts to spill out of Peggy.

“It’s not the ex part, I swear. That part was needed. Good riddance and all that. But it wasn’t just that we realized we were incompatible.” She sighs but Steve doesn’t comment, just continues to watch her in earnest. “We met at University back in England. Long story short, our families sort of encouraged the relationship, and I was young so I fell into the falsehood of feeling like being together for years meant we were supposed to stay together. I helped him apply for a job at our London office where I started while still at University when he was between jobs. After about six months or so, he was offered a promotion in New York. He took it. He assumed I would come with him. I did.”

She shakes her head. “It doesn’t even sound like me thinking about it now. I packed up my life, left my family because every woman around me was telling their own similar stories, so that’s how it went, you are supposed to sacrifice for your boyfriend. What a bunch of bollocks. How did I fall into that sort of nonsense when my whole life before Fred was the antithesis of that?”

“You were young Peggy. You were doing the best in the circumstances you were in,” he tells her softly.

She chuckles sardonically. “Ironically, despite her encouraging the relationship because he came from such a good upper-class family, my mother was not pleased about the move. Nor was my brother, but Michael never approved of him. Always called him an idiot of a pencil-pusher. I should have listened to him.” She waves her hand dismissively. “Doesn’t matter now. Anyway. He had a promotion and I had to start at the bottom in New York again. But I did. I worked hard. I still thought we were a team, working at the same office, having the same goals. He always knew I wanted to move up the ranks. I was never shy about that. I’m good at my job. I know I bring a lot to the table. And I wanted to have more control in what we were doing.”

“We had been rocky for months. I kept noticing the problems we were having peeking through, but then he’d say something vaguely romantic, or remind me that we were in it together that I decided I was being selfish and would work harder to reconcile. At the beginning of the year he told me he heard about a great opportunity for me. The acting Operations Manager in the London office we left was going to go on maternity leave in May and they were still deciding on someone for the interim. He told me this was the break I was looking for. That it was a good stepping stone. And it was. There was talk that our boss was going to retire in the fall and they were talking with employees in leadership positions within the company to replace him. I told Fred immediately my intention to pursue it. I thought he’d been supportive. He told me to go for it. He even said he wasn’t interested. That he was looking for something different.”

She shakes her head and goes quiet for a moment.

“I should have seen the signs earlier. That’s what still bothers me most. London was… wonderful actually. Three and a half months of long, hard days but they were fulfilling. The London team felt like a family. I learned so much, and it felt like validation. That I was ready. That the company took me seriously. Fred didn’t visit like he promised, but we were both working so I dismissed it. Besides, we talked on a regular basis, though in hindsight I suppose it was mostly about work. But I had started feeling hopeful again. That maybe all the stress had just been work related, and now that I felt like I had some traction, Fred and I would work out. I decided to give it one more shot.”

Peggy stares into the flames for a moment. She feels Steve scoot closer, his side pressed against hers. She let out a long breath.

“I came home a day early. I found him in our bedroom having sex with the college intern.”

“Actually caught them?”

She lets out a small dark laugh. “Yes.”

Steve swears under his breath. “Christ Peggy. I can’t imagine dealing with that. What did you do?”

“After telling her to get dressed and get out of my house? I told Fred it was over and that I was taking the guest room for the evening.” She clears her throat. “I told him he could have the apartment if he told me what I wanted to know. I asked him how long he’d been sleeping with her. He said since January when she first started. Then I asked him about the engagement ring in his sock drawer. He said he only bought it after the President of our company told him that if he ever wanted a spot on the board he needed to make sure to start filling out the wholesome family image checklist. He intended to use it to marry me. That was still the plan, as he continued having an affair. And because he couldn’t meet my eye, I knew he was hiding something else. The last thing I wanted to know was what else he was keeping from me. He hedged for a while before admitting that while I was in London he greased some palms to secure the promote I had been vying for.”

She hears him suck in a breath, as he was just punched in the gut himself.

“Fucking bastard,” she hears him mutter. “Peggy… I can’t even begin to say that I’m sorry that you had to experience a multiple sucker punch like that. Tell me you kicked him where the sun don’t shine.”

She lets out a cackle. “Believe me I thought about it, and the thought continues to sound favorable from time to time.” She shakes her head. “I told him he was not to disturb me in the guest room. I made arrangements, and while he was at work the following day, I packed up all my things.”

“What’d you do?”

“I stayed on a friend’s couch while I looked for a new place and tried to keep it all out sight, out of mind. Even as he immediately promoted her to his personal assistance the second we were broken up.”

He sighs. “Peggy.”

“I’m better these days. Really. I know I’ve gone and exploded my emotions in front of you but moving on from Fred was easy. It only took me a couple days to realize that I didn’t love him. That the disappointment I held onto was a result of the realization that I had sacrificed so much for the relationship. The lightbulb switched on that he never put any real effort in. Not to be with me. Not to really get to know me. That realization, that it was happening right in front of my eyes and I maybe didn’t question enough… That disappointment lingers.”

“You were together for a long while. Some part of you must have trusted him on some level. You couldn’t have expected that kind of betrayal.”

“Betrayal. That’s what cuts the deepest. How do you trust anything after something like that?” She sighs, dropping her head back into her hands. “I told him! I told him right from the start about the promotion. He could have said something! Anything! Instead of lie. Lie about everything. It’s tainted everything. Even the London opportunity. Would he have suggested it if he didn’t want free range to cheat on me long-distance? I don’t believe he would have.”

Wordlessly Steve pulls his arm around her shoulders and presses her close to his side.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Peggy.”

They’re quite for a moment, the fire still crackling in front of them.

“He’s engaged to her you know. That’s really what this retreat is about.”

“That’s his engagement party this weekend?”

“You know about it?”

“Yes… I helped my team get every detail right. Peggy—”

She waves him off. “Don’t you dare apologize Steve. How could you have possibly known and why would you have cared? I don’t care so much about that. It’s the way he’s forced it us in the guise of a work retreat. It feels a bit pointed at me… Forcing my attendance and all that.” She braves a longer look at Steve’s eyes and he can see the rage in them. “He didn’t tell us about it until the day before the trip. He dropped the news that they had gotten engaged and would take the opportunity at the end of the retreat to celebrate with the company that brought them together.”

“He’s horrible. Tell me what I can do. I’ll do anything you want.”

Peggy shakes her head. “You already did.” He looks at her in confusion. “I’ve um… never told anyone the full details the way I just told you.”

“You’ve had that all bottled up?”

She nods with a frown. “Part of it was self-preservation. I was furious at my company. But the corporate world is still a boys’ club. If I had showed any sign of distress, I could guarantee I’d never get another opportunity again. And though I felt betrayed, I’ve been with them since my University days. That had to mean something? Right? In a perfect world?”

Steve shakes his head violently. “This is exactly the sort of corporate American bullshit that I had been glad to leave behind. All of this is bullshit Peggy. Complete and horrible bullshit.”

“You know what else is bullshit? She’s wearing the ring he bought intending to propose to me with. And every time the ring is mentioned he stares right at me.”

“Do me a favor why don’t you? If he ends up going up on the slopes at any point, give me a heads up. I can easily arrange for a ski accident.”

She laughs but pokes him hard in the arm.

“No way Steve. He’s not the worth any more of my time or efforts. He thrives off that.” She nudges his side and realigns their sides to touch. “Besides, I think one of the things I like most about you Steve is that you don’t remind me of Fred at all.”

“I know you mean that as a compliment, but standing next to the absolute scum of the Earth, I don’t really think it’s much of a contest really.”

She gives him a weak smile.

“Peggy… I just, I wish I could do something. I know he doesn’t matter, but hearing the pain you went through it, I can’t help but want to fix it.”

“Thank you Steve,” she whispers, her eyes getting watery, though this time unrelated to any Fred-related nonsense. “It’s nice to have someone to talk with.”

“Anytime Peggy. Anytime.”

He brings his other arm around her and presses her against his chest for a long moment. She can smell the lingering smell of campfire smoke and aftershave on him. She breaths it in before he releases her.

Peggy wipes at her eyes one more time and clears her throat.

“So about those chestnuts that are probably burnt to a crisp…”

“Shit!” he mutters. “I have more marshmallows,” he offers.

“Perfect,” she says with a real smile returning to her face.

He hands her one and together they stick their skewers into the fire.

 

*

 

He thinks about her all day, through all his morning chores and the afternoon set up for the Gingerbread Decorating event.

He had hardly been able to sleep, his heart hurting every time he remembered what some privileged asshole put her through. And when he did sleep, he dreamed of her in the envelope of his arms, holding her to his chest, warm and tight.

It’s not until the afternoon where he has a clear enough mind to realize that her whole retreat group was partaking in the Gingerbread Decorating, her company turning it into some sort of team-building contest. His stomach immediately fills with flurries at the anticipation of seeing her again. He’s only helping out, and with the huge crowd of kids that ends up partaking, his focus ends up on the kids’ side. He’s glad for the distraction, not from the occasional glances and smiles that he shares with Peggy, those are always welcome. But being in the presence of her horrible ex makes his blood boil. Hearing his pompous tone, and the subtle barbs he seems to be throwing at other guests and even to some of his own group makes him ill.

He focuses on mixing coloring into the icing as the little ones request all shades of purples, blues and pinks. He helps little hands pipe windows and glue gumdrops with icing. He likes their endless imagination and creativity, their openness to any craft or art project.

Steve is glad for the aprons though because one of the little boys decides to forgo the piping bag and decides to decorate his gingerbread house with handprints, before tripping racing for the chocolate chips, pitching forward and leaving handprints all over Steve.

He hears Peggy’s laughter, the sound instantly bringing him joy. When he looks up after steadying the boy, her brown eyes are full of amusement, her hand pressed over her lips. He jokingly puts his hands on his hips and pouts, which makes her laugh again. She fixes her expression into mock seriousness, raises an eyebrow and returns to her own creation. He’s still grinning when another face catches his attention. It’s her ex. And he’s glaring at him with such disdain it’s almost comical. He pretends like he doesn’t see it.

A few of the kids are lingering, giggling through finally eating their gingerbread man cookies, but apart from their parents, most of the adults have cleared out. Steve takes over clean up duty so his staff can take a break.

Peggy’s still there. She walks over, wordlessly helping him collect supplies and sweep sprinkles in the garbage.

“Impressive gingerbread house,” he tells her with a grin, nodding at the four-story gingerbread skyscraper she and her colleagues constructed.

“Why thank you. We went decidedly modern. Showy and probably on the verge of collapse.” He snorts. “Do you do this on a regular basis for the kids?”

Steve nods. “Yeah. Every week in December. I always thought it was nice to have activities that kids’ could partake in.”

“And you’re good with them.”

He smiles. “Thanks.”

“I especially like the way you let them to decorate your apron,” she teases with a little smirk.

“This old thing?” He looks down at the smears and blobs of rainbow colored icing. “It decidedly needed a makeover.” When she snorts he gestures to her face. “At least I’m not the once trying to use icing as a makeup substitute.”

Peggy’s eyes go wide and she swipes aimless at her face. “Tell me I haven’t been walking around with icing on my face for the past hour.”

Steve shrugs with a grin. “I’m sure you just wanted to make sure everyone knew how sweet you were.” He stills her still swiping hand, and gently brushes away the blue dots of icing high on her cheekbone.”

Her bottom lip is between her teeth, and Steve feels a jolt shoot through him. He watches her release it, her tongue peeking out to wet it. He steps back to return to clean up. She’s right behind him, collecting the remaining paper plates out of the way so he can lift the tablecloth from the table.

“Any plans for the evening?”

“Nothing concrete. Do you have any expert suggestions for me?”

He makes a show of humming loudly in thought.

“Well, though not quite as an adrenaline rush as downhill skiing, there are some very pretty cross-country trails. It’s a nice way of taking a tour of the area. Especially with a knowledgeable guide.”

“Hm… That does sound nice. Though I’m sure it’s quite last-minute to secure a guide for today.”

He presses his thumb and forefinger to his chin in thought. “I know a guy. He can meet you at the ski rental in say… half an hour? He comes highly recommended.”

He’s already too addicted to her smile, the way a true smile reaches her eyes.

“Alright. If you can promise he won’t be late.” Her eyebrow is quirked mischievously.

“I’ll see in half an hour Peggy,” he promises.

 

*

 

Peggy is out of breath from the combination of skiing and Steve making her laugh. It’s such a stark difference from the previous night, spilling her guts and her tears in front of him. But she thinks it’s the fact that he makes her feel comfortable in both situations that strikes her most.

“Are you tired or do you want to go a little further?”

“I could go a little longer,” she tells him. Truth be told, even if she was over her limit, she’d probably push through just to spend more time with him.

“I was thinking I could show you some of my favorite spots on the grounds.”

“I’d love that.”

They make their way over to a wooden building first. The stables, she quickly realizes. They leave their skis propped up against the entrance and Steve leads her inside.

“This is one of my favorite spots on the grounds,” he tells her. “We have horses for riding as well as the sleigh-pulling horses here. And for the larger demands we contract out to nearby stables that we have good relationships with. Especially right around the holidays when everyone wants to go for a sleigh ride.”

“Have you always had horses or was it something you added when you took over?”

“My grandparents always had horses. It was one of the traditions I wanted to keep. My grandmother competed in shows for a long time. And this is the exact stable where I first learned to ride. I spent a lot of time here feeding the horses, hiding away with a book.” He thumps the wood with his hand.

“That’s wonderful Steve. A beautiful lodge with horses. You’ve got a pretty perfect picture up here.”

“I like it,” he replies humbly.

She observes all the horses carefully, the smooth chestnut horses with fair manes, several ponies grazing. Steve finally stops at the last stall where Rosie is already poking her head out in anticipation.

“Hi there Rosie my girl,” he calls. “I brought a friend.” He unlocks the stall and ushers her inside with him. Rosie nudges his arm with her nose. “That’s a sure sign that she wants to be brushed. She loves getting brushed.”

He pats her twice before heading to the corner to retrieve a pair of brushes, holding one out to her.

“I’ll follow your lead,” she tells him, a step farther way from Rosie than he’s standing.

He nods. “Sure, just watch me and when you’re ready just copy along.” Rosie starts making pleases noises the second Steve starts brushing. “See? Rosie’s a sweetheart and though she’s particular about who she likes, she’s not one to turn down a brushing or a snack.”

Peggy smiles and after a moment follows his strokes. There’s something, almost intimate, in standing shoulder to shoulder with Steve caring for his horse.

By the time they’re finished giving Rosie a thorough brush, she swears the horse has warmed up to her a little. She wonders if she’s reading her owner, tolerating her on his behalf. But then when Steve retreats to put the brushes away, Peggy watching his backside, she feels a pressure on her shoulder. She turns her head and there’s Rosie resting her head against her shoulder.

Steve bursts into a full-bodied laugh.

“Oh Rosie you softie. See Peggy? Even my horse likes you.”

She feels herself blushing, awkwardly reaching over to pat Rosie as Steve continues to smile openly at the sight. When she turns back to meet his eye, she notices that he’s slipping his phone away in a hurry, and she considers the fact that he just snapped their picture. Being in Steve’s phone sends her down a new wave of butterflies.

Once their skis are returned, they head back to the Lodge at a slow pace.

“Hey Peggy?” She sees him shove his hands into his pockets and bite his lip like he was figuring out what he wanted to say. Her stomach churned nervously. “There was something I kept thinking about that I needed you to hear. About everything you told me yesterday… I want you to know that it’s okay to be grieving the loss of something even if the relationship had run its course. I have a feeling that the practical side of you constantly reminds you that of course you’re better off now. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be hurt. Whatever the circumstances, your trust was broken. In more ways than one.”

He pauses his steps. “You said you’d never aired that story out all the way. I want you to know that I’m honored to know that you were comfortable enough with me to open up. And I’m honored that we’ve been able to have the conversations we have. I’ve… um, it’s not been the easiest for me to talk openly with others myself. Like I said. I was an awkward kid. Some of that still lives inside me. But it’s nice… To have someone to share thoughts with.”

“It is nice,” she echoes. “Believe me when I say, crying at a bonfire was not how I expected to spend this week.”

“Peggy…”

“Am I still a little humiliated by it? Yes. But not by you. You made me feel heard. And I really… need that. So thank you.”

They share small smiles, stick their hands into their pockets and walk in tandem up the trail.

 

*

 

They have coffee together in the library on Thursday morning, sneaking glances at each other as they sit side-by-side with books. Peggy hasn’t read a single word. She’s not sure that Steve has either. She could stay here all day.

But Steve’s phone beeps several times in a row and he has to go. He stands but doesn’t head out.

“Do you have anything going on tonight?” he asks in a rush, the words strung close together.

“I think we’re going to go down to the town to explore this afternoon after whatever session we have in the morning. Nothing other than that. Why?”

“There’s this thing tonight. In the Taproom. On Thursdays we have live musicians from the area perform. It’s a nice time. And we have wine specials. And we make a mean hot toddy.” He clears his throat and runs his hand through his hair. “Would you… maybe like to join me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

She nods. “What time?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“Alright.”

“Alright,” he repeats, his dazed smile surely mirroring her own. “So I’ll see you at nine?”

“I’ll be there at nine.”

“Good. I’ll meet you there.” He heads out backwards, running into the door frame. His smile isn’t deterred by his own clumsy move. “I’ll see you tonight Peggy.”

 

*

 

She’d cut the excursion to the picturesque town early, having lost interest once bar hopping was mentioned. Peggy had enjoyed the sight-seeing up until that, a few historic markers in the area, a large ice skating rink in the town square flanked on all sides by giant brightly lit Christmas trees. She’d even gotten some shopping done, heading from boutique to boutique with several of the women looking for souvenirs. In addition to a few gifts for her nephew, having felt the holiday spirit in one of the shops, she’d purchased several toys to leave in the Lodge’s toy donation.

She’d dropped the gifts into the donation bin, pausing to look at the photos on the display once again. It’s in a group photo from a nearby children’s hospital that she spots him. His features are obscured by the ridiculous hat, but it’s definitely Steve dressed as a Christmas elf, his grin so wide she can feel its power even through the small photo.

With that perfect reminder of who she was meeting in little over an hour, Peggy rushes back to her room. She prepares for it like she would for a date. Though it’s been a while since she’s been out on a date. She’s out of practice. And perhaps because of that she’s reading the situation incorrectly.

The invitation sounded date-like, but then again, they’d been spending time together on their off time for days.

Either way, the prospect of an evening with Steve requires her attention. She decides to treat the preparation as she would for a business meeting with a client she’d already worked with but still wanted to impress. Though, the outfit she chooses, includes a few items she’d never wear to a business meeting: form-fitting jeans paired with heeled thigh-high boots.

The surprising amount of nerves she was fighting fall away the moment she steps through the threshold of the Taproom. She’s five minutes early but Steve’s already there. And he dressed up. She watches him for a moment as he’s chatting with the bartender, taking in the deep blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up neatly at his forearms.

Her first step towards him catches his attention and he straightens up and meets her halfway.

“Hi Peggy. You look great.”

Her lips split in a pleased smile. “Thank you. Blue is definitely your color.”

His expression grows a little shy and she wonders for a moment if he really doesn’t know just how attractive he is. He shoves his hands into his pockets only giving her another angle of the clear muscle tone in his arms. She itches to reach for his hand, to run her fingers up the inside of his wrist. They make their way to two stools at the bar, angling their bodies towards each other rather than the bar itself.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Steve asks.

“Yes, please.”

He slides the specials list closer to her.

“I definitely recommend a hot toddy,” the bartender says as he approaches.

“What sort of liquor do you use?” she asks.

“Anything you want. Whiskey’s a favorite obviously. But we can do brandy if you prefer. Or a good bourbon.”

She hums. “I do love a good bourbon.”

The bartender chuckles and gives Steve a subtle nod. “Bourbon hot toddy for you. You’ll love it, I promise. Steve?”

“Same for me Sam, thanks.”

“Coming right up.”

Steve taps his glass against hers just as the piano player starts a warm up and the singer greets the room. She’s accompanied by the piano and sometimes an acoustic guitar, but otherwise the vibrato of her voice echoes through the cozy room.

“This is a really nice idea Steve. You said you bring in local musicians?”

He nods. “Yeah. Sometimes we have more of an open mic night and sometimes more specific gigs. But I know how hard it can be to be an artist, and since I have the space and who doesn’t like music, it seemed like such a no brainer.”

“Do you play?”

“No, no. I just love music. I can’t play it,” he tells her with a chuckle. “But back in New York I started as an artist.”

“Oh?”

He nods. “I worked in design for most of my teens and twenties. Wanting to paint and create in New York these days is tough, so I got a day job in more corporate settings. Graphic design for advertising companies mostly. I thought it would be temporary. Just while I got on my feet.”

“And then the temporarily plans grew roots and you started to forget they were supposed to be temporary,” she says.

He nods. “I let myself get sucked in. Even as every time I had a moment to pause there was something I didn’t like. Something going on that felt totally wrong to me.”

“Like what?”

“Office politics. Capitalistic greed. The first few years in particular I worked my ass off. Stayed late every single day to work on projects. To put my heart and soul in them. To create something I was proud of. I quickly learned these firms didn’t want something new or interesting. They wanted us to hock others’ ideas for a quick buck and to avoid paying us a real salary. There was no respect for the process or that just because it looks effortless at the end product, doesn’t mean there isn’t hours and hours of labor underneath that. And so, my art starting feeling disposal. That was… heartbreaking honestly.”

“Oh Steve. Tell me you didn’t give up your art entirely.”

He shakes his head. “No, I still work on stuff. But there was a period where for almost a year I didn’t work on anything personal. I had a wake up point where I realized there wasn’t any love in anything I was doing. I started my own design business. That started to feel better, but I couldn’t quit my day job, and trying to juggle both was impossible. I didn’t have support. I was doing everything myself. And then I knew that I had to leave. I knew I had to put myself first. The day I quit felt like I was seeing sunlight for the first time.”

“And look at you now. Look at how much good you’re putting out with your success.”

“Well, I don’t know all about that. But I do know I’m in a good place.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Tell me more about you,” he urges with interest. “Tell me what other shenanigans I’m sure little Peggy who stole a horse got into.”

Peggy snorts. “I’m sure my brother would have a whole myriad of horribly embarrassing stories to tell you.” He rests his elbow on the bar and leans closer. “I suppose there’s one story where I was dared to break into the headmaster’s quarters.”

“Oh you have to tell me.”

“There was this silly class competition. Everyone was given naughty tasks to complete. I wasn’t originally participating. I had other interests and it was started by this horrible boy that I did not respect. He set the dare for me because he was sure I wouldn’t do it. Mind you, you need to understand that I suppose I had a streak of not appreciating being underestimated so I had a constant need to prove people wrong.”

“I can believe that. So the dare was to break and enter?”

“Well… It was to sneak into his bedroom and steal his underwear. Bonus points were given for steal his wife’s knickers too.”

He lets out a belly laugh. “You stole both didn’t you?”

“And a bottle of his most expensive brandy for good measure.”

“What did the guy who dared you think?”

“Well… I got caught.”

“You got caught?!”

Peggy nods. “He walked in right as I was about to sneak back out the window in his study.”

“Did you get in so much trouble?”

“Oh yes. But I talked my way out of the worst.”

He guffawed. “You talked your way out of breaking into his house to steal his underwear?”

“Oh he never knew about the stolen underwear. I was reckless not an idiot. Both pairs of underwear were well hidden in the inside pocket of my jacket. The bottle of brandy was trickier, but I figured a man really wouldn’t be able to question why a young ladies’ trousers had a bulge in them, even if you did suspect them of nicking something.”

“What did you say?”

“After he yelled at me and threatened me with a suspension? I broke out into sobs. See, though I wasn’t a model of ladylike behavior my grades were excellent. I fed him some story about how the pressure of school exams and my A-levels were too much that it was driving me to seek out less than honest help. I told him I thought maybe he’d have a copy of what questions would be on various University entrance exams. I laid it on thick. He handed me a handkerchief, suggested one of the in-school tutors and knocked the suspension down to two Saturday detentions. Of course, the only word that got around school was that Peggy Carter got caught and lived to tell the tale. Apparently, that in its own right made me a bit of a hero.”

“And the kid who gave you the dare?”

“I brought him the knickers and after emptying most of the brandy into my roommate’s flask, threw the bottle at him too. Told him to enjoy some coward’s courage.”

There’s a bit of awe in Steve’s eyes that makes her feel very proud.

“I have a feeling life with you is never dull Peggy.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

She clinks her glass against his. She succumbs into the peace of his smile and the sound of the crooning jazz standards. She hasn’t felt like this in years, the pleasant quickening beat to her heart, the intermittent butterflies every time he flashes those lashes or smile in her direction. It’s perfect.

The band starts a familiar song, the romantic vibe seeping into their little bubble that Peggy feels on the verge of doing something reckless. She can’t stop looking Steve over, the candlelight highlighting his strong jawline, the curve of his lips. It’s so easy, with Steve meeting her eyes. It’s a moment. She’s sure of it.

Until Steve’s gaze shifts over her shoulder and hardens.

“Well, well, well, look at you Peggy, finally joining us at the bar.”

She startles at his unexpected presence, and she can feel the warm peaceful atmosphere that existed in the bubble she was in with Steve start to burst.

“Fred,” she says in acknowledgment, before turning her head away from him. If she ignores him perhaps he’d get the hint.

He doesn’t.

“You know mate, you seem to be showing up everywhere,” Fred directs at Steve. “Looks like you’re pretty keen in distracting my employees.”

Peggy rolls her eyes biting at her lip to prevent herself from lashing out. She refuses to let him ruin the perfect night she’d been having.

“Is there something you needed Fred?” she asks instead.

He ignores her, and she notices he stands up straighter, peering down at Steve with disdain.

“You seem pretty cozy here. And all the other retreat activities you’ve been gatecrashing. You keep showing up unwanted I will have words with your supervisor, give him an idea of how you’ve been neglecting your duties to hit on guests.”

Peggy whips her head around, eyes glaring at him, her mouth open to protest. But Steve takes the opportunity instead.

His calm expression doesn’t falter, but there’s an edge to it when he stands from his chair, towering over Fred at full height.

“Firstly, I’d like to point out that this is actually a public event that has nothing to do with your retreat. Secondly, I’d be happy to direct any complaints you may have, though I warn you I think the owner would have a better view of the situation than you seem to.”

“Oh do you now?” Fred sneers. “I could get you fired from this lodge three weeks before Christmas in a heartbeat.”

Steve’s jaw tightens and his expression turns serious in a way that fills Peggy with butterflies.

“You want to take it up with the owner? Be my guest. You’re looking at him.” He pauses with purpose and Peggy can see the realization slowly hit Fred. “I can hardly believe you’ve ever done anything entirely on your own, thus making your threat not only empty but weak. I’m the sole owner, and I don’t answer to a corporate board or shareholders. I could dismiss you and your entire party from the remaining days of your stay. I’m sure you had a thorough look at our code of conduct you signed upon booking your retreat. But please, by all means continue this pissing contest you’re having with yourself. You’re only embarrassing yourself.”

Fred blanches and looks like he wants to argue but can’t find an entry point.

“And one more thing, while you’re trying to figure out how to insult me next or threaten me. You’re clearly not coming here out of a sense of concern for her, so I’ll have to go with jealousy. Let me remind you, that as the owner I’m privy to all the details of your Engagement Party this Saturday. To another woman. If you think this is the way to get a rise out of Peggy or win her back, you clearly have never known her at all. Figure your shit out. But stop making out like you have any claim over Peggy’s personal choices. She is her own person, and it’s your fault and yours alone that you let this incredible woman go.”

“And one piece of advice, _mate_ ,” Steve says leaving closer, his voice growing quiet and gruff. “I catch wind of you harassing my staff again, or calling Peggy names, I guarantee you’ll not want to cross paths with me.” His arms flex as he crosses his arms against his broad chest. “Now, if you are not here to politely partake in the evening’s event, please make your way out of the room.”

Peggy is biting her lip to prevent anything tumbling out of her lips, like telling Steve that she’s pretty sure she’s never found anyone sexier than she finds him right now. It’s not quite the time or place. Though the ideas swirling in her head refuse to be banished.

It makes her unable to hide the smile from her face when Fred glances over at her, like he’s seeking out her assistance. A laugh starts to bubble up inside her, and she suppresses it as much as she can. It’s enough to make him swear under his breath and march away.

“Everything okay over here Steve?” Sam the bartender asks.

“Under control. Thanks Sam. Another glass for Ms. Carter though if she’d like.”

She’s still smiling at him.

“Only if Steve has another as well. And you charge it to the company bill please.”

“You got it,” Sam says with a laugh and walks away before Steve can protest on any moral grounds.

He sits back in his seat, seemingly still in his own thoughts.

Peggy bites her lip, then ignores her brain as she gently presses her hand atop his fist on the bar top. It loosens almost immediately and between the thuds of her heart, she thinks about what it would feel like to hold his hand properly.

“Thank you,” she tells him.

He looks up at her in surprise. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”

She shrugs with a smile. “Agree to disagree Mr. Rogers,” she teases. “I… I appreciate it all the more.”

He shakes his head. “Guys like that… The ones that have the world and still think it owes them infuriate me.”

She laughs. “Another thing we have in common.”

He smiles back. When Sam drops off the second round, they clink glasses and move back to more joyful topics.

It’s as they agree to call it a night, the music long since over, the fire dwindling, and most tables now empty, that Steve looks serious again.

“Do I…” He trails off, then clears his throat. “I hope you don’t feel like I’m butting in on your stay.”

“Steve.”

“Maybe he’s got a point about me being less than professional.”

“Steve.”

“Please know you don’t owe me any of your time.”

“Steve! I thought we went over this. I enjoy your company. You did not force your attention or company on me. I accepted your invitation tonight willingly.”

He nods slowly. “Okay.”

“Don’t you dare let an idiot like Fred Wells get to you.” His expression relaxes. She bites her lip. “Though I suppose it wouldn’t be quite professional to invite you to the party on Saturday.”

He smiles wryly. “Not exactly.”

Her heart sinks a little, but she understands. This is his work. Still… Now that the fantasies have fully formed, she can’t feel the sinking feel of disappointment that she won’t be able to dance with him.

 

*

 

It took a week, but there’s actual work done by Friday afternoon. Peggy feels like she’s actually made some of her ideas heard. More so, others seemed to respond. She feels a confidence in herself she had been missing in the last few months. Fred continued to shoot her glares from across the conference room but otherwise ignore her entirely. She was okay with that.

The group is in such good spirits that they decide to cap off the day with tubing. She genuinely has a good time in the goofy mood that has them impromptu building snowmen and starting snowball fights. Peggy even convinces several of the more adventurous of the group to join her on the slopes, promising to stay on the bunny hill.

She’s snow-drenched and cheerful by the time they’re marching back to their rooms for a lie down and some dinner.

At dinner she thinks about Steve and how much she misses him. Because of their jam-packed morning, she’d only seen him in passing near the front desk. She should have asked him to do something. Now there was no guarantee that she’d see him and her time at the Lodge was running out.

Now instead of dreaming about a lazy morning in her Manhattan apartment, she dreams of being near Steve. Anywhere. Anytime.

Her roommates are talking about the plans for queuing up for one of the Friday night sleigh rides when Peggy sees a familiar figure moving outside the window. All her interest in the sleigh ride slips away. She feigns the need to return to their suite, and quickly makes her way outside.

She finds him at the bonfire. Steve has a long bag strapped to his back and he’s holding an axe. She waits until he’s swung and split the log into pieces.

“Hard at work?”

He turns and gives her that smile she now considers hers. “Hey Peggy.”

“Part time lumberjack?” she teases.

“Sometimes yeah,” he replies with a grin. “One of my guys was looking miserably sick so I sent him home. I’m filling in. I gotta check on all the firepits. I meant to do it earlier but it’s been a long day.” She can tell he’s more tired than usual, but he’s still cheerful. “What are you up to? Headed out for one of the sleigh rides?”

“I was thinking about it.”

He nods. “You’ll enjoy it.”

“Yes I’m sure I would,” she agrees. “Though I’m thinking that maybe I could keep you company. Two sets of hands are faster than one and all.”

“Oh no, Peggy you don’t have to do that. It’s a grimy job clearing all the ash. You should enjoy your evening.”

She stubbornly stays put. “I’m not afraid to get dirty,” she tells him. “Besides, I would rather enjoy your company.” She quirks her eyebrow at him and crosses her arms.

He mirrors her stance, but his face is full of amusement and she knows he’s not going to turn her down.

“You just want a ride on my snowmobile huh.”

“Oh I’m definitely not opposed to a ride.”

He drops the log he’s holding and Peggy bites back a laugh as he fumbles to retrieve it before rubbing at his neck. It’s endearing.

“Come on Steve, no more dilly-dallying,” she teases. “Give me a task. I like to stay busy.”

He shakes his head, his expression still bashful but bright. Once Steve’s replaced the logs and restarted the fire, they head for the snowmobile several steps down the path.

“Okay, I will take you for a ride but I only have one helmet with me. That means you’re wearing it and there will be no high-speed chases.”

She pouts at him dramatically, sighing loudly. “Alright then.”

Peggy sits behind him, feeling the body heat radiating off of him.

“And don’t forgot to hold onto me tight.”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.”

Peggy freezes for a moment, not realizing the private thought escaped her filter. But she’s not taking it back. He doesn’t turn to look at her but she thinks she can feel the silent rumble of laughter move through him and her arms lock around his waist.

She can’t complain about the slow speed, not when it means she gets to spend longer pressed against his back. They ride from fire to fire, Steve chopping logs into smaller pieces, Peggy helping clear away the ash. The last one near the furthest of the cabins on the West side, they watch one of the sleighs pass by in the distance.

“What’s that building?” Peggy asks, pointing out into the distance, where the buildings are few and far between.

“That’s my cabin. It was my grandparents’. I still own their house down in the town, but now I stay here the majority of the time. I rehabbed it a lot in the last two years. Figured if I was going to stay up her so much might as well make it livable.”

“I’m sure it’s peaceful to stay up here. Good for the muse.”

He laughs. “The quiet is definitely something you can’t get in the city.” He checks his watch. “Wow, time flies. Even with excellent help. Do you want me to drop you at your room, or would you like to try to catch a ride on one of the last sleigh rides?”

“By my room is fine. I don’t really fancy taking a sleigh ride alone. Besides I could use some rest, it’s been a long day. Looks like you could use some sleep too.”

He nods. “Had an earlier than usual wake up call, even for me.”

“How early do you usually wake up?”

“I’m up at five most mornings. Except for Sundays which I try to treat like a real full day off, so I’ll sleep in if I can. Sometimes to six-thirty if I’m really pushing it.”

“Oh you poor thing. Early mornings are my norm too, but my sleep is precious. And getting up before five? Those are definite sleeping hours.”

“Three-thirty in the winter is definitely a painful hour.”

“Steve! Go home! You need some sleep. Peggy’s orders.”

He chuckles. “Alright, alright. After I drop you off.”

She spends the last trek on the snowmobile breathing him in, taking in the freckles on the back of his neck not obscured by his hair or coat’s collar, and committing the memory the solidness of his upper body beneath her hands. She has a deep desire to tuck him into bed, an image growing in her head of letting him rest his head against her and play with his hair as he fell asleep.

“Thank you for the help Peggy. And the company.”

“You’re more than welcome.”

“Good night Peggy.”

“Sleep well Steve.”

 

*

 

Peggy’s been exhausted for hours. The early exhaustion was welcome, a testament to the long morning she spent up on the slopes, soaking up her last looks of the snowy peaks, the feel of the pretty winter that just doesn’t exist on slushy city streets, sipping hot chocolates between runs that have never felt so fulfilling as they do in the middle of an adrenaline rush. She savors her last day of the peace of a semi-vacation. She savors the sounds of families enjoying themselves together. Of the possibilities.

The rest of the day the exhaustion that hits is a wary one. She takes her time to get ready for the engagement party, bolstering up her mental defenses to last through both the dinner and the party itself. She preps for every worst-case scenario, for every possibly awkward rendition of how the happy couple got together, for every possible faux-sympathetic look thrown her way as well as the complete unsympathetic looks she’s sure she’ll be receiving. She preps for the drone of drunken small talk at whatever table she’s stuck sitting through, of mediocre music and having to dance with the strangling singles to ensure no one thinks she’s harboring any ill will to the happy bride and groom to be.

The reality of office politics hits her again in a way it hasn’t in a few days.

She hates that she has to toe the line, to behave in a way her male counterparts would not. She hates that thinking about it makes her ill and rethink all her life’s choices that led her here.

But if there’s anything the last few days have reminded her is that she has value, and she can and will drive her own ship. She doesn’t have to fall into the trap of being angry or upset on behalf of Fred’s imbecile behavior any longer. She does not have to feel any shame in getting herself all dolled up, for herself for once, and enjoying even some of her evening.

Still, as expected the speeches throughout the dinner are both embarrassing and decidedly a revisionist take on the couple’s beginnings. Apparently though, Fred is still grooming himself for that “wholesome” persona he was told to emulate, so when he and his fiancée screw up their cover stories, Peggy snorts into her wine, taking another bite of her steak to hide her amusement.

She does fine until the music starts up. Peggy does fine for a few minutes, dancing with some of her coworkers to various feel-good pop hits.

But as she heads back to her table, ostensibly to sip at her wine and nibble at some dessert, she cannot help but feel the pang of loneliness. She loves music. She loves to dance. And admittedly, she’d prefer to dance with a partner.

As a slow song plays, she averts her eyes from the happy couple, and sets out for another piece of cake. She tries to move her thoughts to something more distracting, like the mountain of paperwork and messages she is sure to return to on Monday morning. She thinks about the timing of her holiday time off, and how many days she’d be able to spend in London for a family Christmas. She’s been liking the idea more and more, itching to spend time with her brother, to see her nephew’s face when he opened his presents. She misses home, that feeling of home. The warmth, the comfort of people who cared, who would listen. Who wanted the best for her.

She’s joined by a few of her roommates. She puts on a show of a smile and digs into her cake. She hears snippets of them discussing some attractive man or another, their eyes widening over her shoulder but she doesn’t bother to look.

“Can I refresh that drink for you?”

The voice breaks her out of her melancholy thoughts and Peggy turns her head quickly. Steve stands before her with a soft smile, wearing both a dark jacket and tie.

“Steve.”

The sight makes her mouth water and she’s not entirely sure it’s not a fantasy her brain just conjured up for her to dispel the gloomy mood she’d been tip-toeing just a moment ago.

His grins at her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was invited.”

“I thought it wasn’t professional for you to come.”

“Oh it’s definitely not.” He steps closer. “But you’re leaving tomorrow, and I couldn’t get myself to care about that enough. I realized I wasn’t willing to miss out on an invitation to spend the evening with you.” He holds out his hand. “So what do you think? Can I get you another drink? Or do you think you’ve had enough to not feel horribly embarrassed by my inability to dance?”

His eyebrows shoot up and Peggy can’t help but giggle and take his hand.

“I’ll show you how,” she promises in a low voice as the gap between them narrows.

“I warn you there’s a strong possibility I’ll step on your foot or miss a turn or something. I’d hate to embarrass you.”

“I’ll risk it,” she tells him easily. “With the right partner, dancing is not about perfection, it’s about a shared moment. I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that.”

He squeezes her hand. “Shall we then?”

Peggy beams at him, missing the glances and hushed whispers as she led him to the dance floor. She guides his free hand to her waist, a thrill running through her when she looks up to see his eyes slightly hooded as he looks her over.

“That is some dress,” he murmurs. “You look incredible Peggy.”

She flicks her gaze up at him with a quirk of her lip.

“Thank you, handsome.” He lets out a little surprised chuckle that pleases her. “You make quite an impression yourself Steve. There’s lots of interested eyes.”

She can feel the hand on her waist tighten just slightly.

“I’m sure that’s flattering, but I’ve already gotten the attention of the eyes’ I was hoping to this evening.”

She hums, splaying her fingers resting at his shoulder a little possessively. “That’s very bold of you Mr. Rogers.”

He shrugs. “I guess I just know what I like.”

She laughs and holds his gaze. “I’m glad you came Steve.”

Peggy leans further into him and they dance. She forgets where she is under the feel of Steve’s steady hands. He’s the only thing she sees. The only thing that matters. They dance, swaying through slow songs and the upbeat shimmying of shoulders and hips of party hits, giggling through their occasional bumping of feet. She doesn’t care. How could she when she can take his hand and guide him into a spin or step? How could she when he makes her smile so wide her cheeks hurt? How could she when he leaves her breathless?

He spins her out, and as she turns Peggy notices Fred looking their way over his new fiancée’s shoulder. He’s glaring in Steve’s direction. She fights the urge to roll her eyes, electing to ignore him and returning her attention to the man who did matter.

“So I know you’re very invested in this display of genuine commitment with no ulterior motives,” he teases in a whisper that makes her snort, “but what do you say to leaving a little early?”

“Oh?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem dancing with you for the rest of the night. Though to be honest, I had some other ideas.”

Peggy smiles. “Tell me about these other ideas.”

  
“That’s for you to find out.”

She pauses mid-sway. “Let’s go.”

“We’ve got time for one more song,” he tells her with a grin as he reaches for her waist again. “But then we’ll need to get your coat.”

She leans closer to him, savoring the feeling of their bodies moving in tandem. Peggy feels at home in his hold.

After a final spin, as the music changes, he smiles and keeping their hands entwined, leading her out of the room and towards coat check. Her stomach is full of butterflies. Steve holds out of her coat to help her into it. There in the hallway just off the entrance to the bar, she sees the bartender Sam looking their direction and when he notices her looking, he winks.

“This way,” he gestures once she’s fixed her scarf and put on her gloves.

Steve offers his arm and leads her outside. There she spots a pair of harnessed cream-colored horses. She gasps out at the sight.

“I thought we could take a moonlit sleigh ride.”

“I thought sleigh rides only happened on Friday nights?”

Steve shrugged. “We accommodate special requests when possible. I talked to the owner, told him that you missed out on the sleigh rides this week because you were keeping this poor guy company on his rounds. He agreed this was a good idea.”

Peggy laughs. “Did he now?”

Steve nods seriously. “Oh yes.”

He greets the driver who smiles fondly and tips his hat. Steve offers Peggy his hand to help her into the sleigh. He slides in next to her before grabbing a thick blanket and spreading it over their laps.

Peggy can’t stop smiling, not as the horses start their trot and the wind picks up, the bells on their harness jingling all the way. She looks over at Steve who can’t keep his eyes off of her and she grins.

“Are you warm enough?” he asks, fiddling with the placement of the blanket in their laps. “I brought an extra blanket just in case.”

Peggy slides to close the inch of space between their bodies. “This is perfect.” It’s the most romantic gesture anyone’s ever planned for her. “Do you think you can pass along my heartfelt thank you to your very generous owner?”

Steve shrugs. “I’m sure he’d say it’s nothing.”

She loves how modest he is, she does, but she needs him to know appreciative of the gesture she is.

“Steve, this is the sweetest and most thoughtful surprise,” she tells him cutting the charade entirely. “I’ve never felt like the embodiment of a Christmas song before. This is a perfect moment.”

His smile spreads with pride.

She makes a decision in the moment. Peggy takes her gloves off and brings her hand up to his shoulder. His eyes lock with hers and as she gauges his reaction, she moves her hand to the back of his neck, to thread through the short blond hair. His Adam’s apple bobs and his eyes flick down. She guides him closer, her lips finally coming to press against his. She can hear him inhale before he reaches his own hand out to her cheek, holding her there as he returns the kiss. It feels better than she had even imagined, soft and purposeful.

Their lips eventually part but Steve keeps his forehead pressed against hers. Their breaths visibly intermingle in the chilly air. Peggy’s never felt warmer. She feels Steve’s free hand come up to tuck a curl of her hair behind her ear. The awed smile on his face stirs both butterflies and deep pride in her for causing that kind of an expression. She already knows she wants to be witness to it for a long time.

They snuggle on the rest of the ride, bare fingers entwined under the blanket. Peggy focuses on taking the whole image in, the snow-covered evergreen trees, the stars twinkling above, the rosy cheeks of the beautiful man next to her. Everything feels right.

After a lengthy ride, the sleigh drops them back off at the Main Lodge.

“This has been a wonderful night Steve.”

“Oh you think that’s all I can come up with?” He shakes his head and grins. “Night’s not over just yet Peggy Carter.”

She bites her lip and doesn’t ask questions as he leads her back inside. He leads her into the room where they met. The little library’s furniture has been shifted, and in the corner in front of the Christmas tree a little table is set up for two.

“Give me just a minute,” he tells her after helping her take her coat off. He holds up a finger as he dashes out the door. That cheek-spraining smile refuses to leave her face again. Her head is still in a daze at the evening’s surprises.

Steve returns a few minutes later with a tray. He sets down several dishes, the first with a cheese plate, the second with a variety of cookies and a third with a decadent slice of chocolate cake.

“You’re absolutely spoiling me.”

“Treating,” he corrects with a laugh. He snaps his fingers. “Only thing missing now are drinks.”

“And I’ve got that covered,” comes a voice from the doorway. Sam carries in a champagne bucket and two glasses.

“Thanks Sam,” Steve says as Sam sets the glasses down and begins to pour them.

“Can I get you anything other than the champagne?”

“No thank you, this is lovely,” Peggy tells him.

“Steve?” he asks.

“This is good.”

“Enjoy then,” Sam says. Before he can leave though, he puts his hands on his hips and lets out what Peggy can immediately tell is a fake gasp. “Looky here. Mistletoe. Just above the table. Who would have thought to put that there? It’s kismet.”

From the way Steve’s head jerks up and the way he frowns she can tell the mistletoe is all his friend’s doing. She remembers the wink Sam gave her earlier this evening. She arches her brow at him as he stands there expectantly with a shit-eating grin.

Peggy snorts and reaches for a cookie.

“You really think I could sit through a romantic surprise like a moonlit sleigh ride and not kiss him?”

Steve turns bright red as Sam starts to chortle. Sam holds out his fist for Peggy to bump.

“You can understand a brother wanting to help the poor guy out. Poor kid’s been a mess with the huge crush he has.”

Peggy looks over at Steve who looks like he wants to run straight into the fireplace.

“Alright thanks Sam. Don’t you have a job to go back to?”

“Right, right. I’ll leave you two to some private mistletoe time.” He winks again as he leaves.

Once he’s gone Peggy has to pry Steve’s hand away from his eyes. She laces it with her own and sets it on the table.

“Is it unprofessional to fire one of your closest friends for being an embarrassing ass?”

“Mmm sometimes you have to do what you have to do. However, perhaps in the spirit of the season you let it slide. Meddling friends can be utterly annoying, but their intentions are still well meaning. And I’m willing to consider this endearing as opposed to embarrassing if you are.”

That look of awe returns to his gaze and she has to look away thanks to how sharply it makes her heartbeat stutter. They eat, drink and talk. The simple and sweet combination a sort of magic she hadn’t quite known could exist.

“What on earth possessed you to not only come to that idiotic party and then plan all this?”

“It was a no brainer. Like I said, I wasn’t willing to let this go. Peggy, I know it’s only been a few days, but I love spending time with you. You’re incredible Peggy. And I could sit and dream about it and watch you leave and not say anything or I could show you how happy I’ve been the past week. There’s something here, there could be. I can feel it.”

Her heart stutters again. Everything Steve says is so perfectly overwhelming she feels the odd sensation of her eyes watering. She swallows and inhales deeply.

“There is something here,” she agrees.

Steve takes her hand and lifts it to his lips. Then he leans over the table to kiss her, tasting like the sweetness of chocolate and champagne. Peggy twists her hand into his hair and breaths him in.

 

*

 

It’s still dark but Peggy can’t sleep. Has been hardly able to sleep all night, her smile and the butterflies in her stomach keeping her awake. She stares at the ceiling as her head still reels. She can’t stop thinking of Steve. Of his lips. The smiles on them. The softness of them against hers. She thinks about the future. Peggy checks the time and bites her lip in a weak attempt to tamp down her joy.

“Screw it,” she says aloud and throws the bedcovers away.

She’s slightly regretting her haphazard plan as she shivers in the cold, her hand knocking repeatedly at the door until it’s answered. Finally she sees a light turn on inside and it opens.

“Peggy?”

Steve’s expression is sleep-ridden but she’s buzzing on her lack-of-sleep high, and the sight of him in a Henley and pajama bottoms only seems to fuel it.

“Morning! Dear lord is it cold out today.”

He looks at her with a funny look, taking her hand and leading her inside his cabin and closing the door behind her.

“I kept thinking and thinking and I think I have figured it out. But I need to know your thoughts so we can plan accordingly. I had been planning to spend Christmas back in England. But I can take a few more days off after that. And I thought that I could come up here then. Or before Christmas if that’s what would work better for you. Or I could stay in New York for the holidays. But either way would be doable,” she says in a flurry.

He clears his throat and fights a yawn.

“Sorry I’m not all here yet.”

“Oh. You were sleeping.”

He grins sleepily. “Sort of. Sleep in Sunday and all that.”

“Oh! I’m sorry Steve. I… I don’t know what I thought. Other than I figured you’d still be at home this early. I’m so sorry. I’ll go—”

He shakes his head, helps her out of her boots and then her coat. Then as Peggy’s rethinking how she decided on this course of action, he pulls her into his arms for a hug. Her head rests against his chest, and she sinks into his touch, to the feel of his steady heartbeat, the soft kiss he presses into her hair.

“Hi,” he whispers.

“Hi Steve.”

He smiles. “Now what was this about needing my thoughts?”

  
“Oh.” She feels a little foolish, like an overeager schoolgirl. “I couldn’t stop thinking about last night. And I know we promised to stay in touch, but in my experience if you don’t set a plan, you don’t really end up staying in touch. And if you feel something here like I do then I want to make a concrete plan. To plan to see each other again. And soon.”

Steve places her hand against his heart. “I’m in.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. But you were already thinking about spending Christmas with your family, you should do that. Family’s important. We’ll figure out what dates work best for us. I could come into the city too if that’s what works best. We’ll see each other.”

“Soon?”

“Before December ends,” he promises. “We will coordinate our schedules. And we’ll meet here. Or in the city. Or we’ll meet halfway. It doesn’t matter. We can figure that out.”

Peggy throws her arms back around him. He’s ready for it and squeezes her tight. He presses another kiss to her hair.

“Good,” Peggy says through a series of yawns.

He chuckles. “Alright, that’s enough yawning out of you.” He takes her hand and leads her deeper into his cabin.

“Where are we going?”

He leads her up the stairs and to what she guesses is his bedroom. She already feels the pull of it, seeing the imprint on the pillowcase he no doubt slept on, the thick navy comforter askew.

“I don’t know what the hell possessed you to willingly leave bed before five in the morning, but if I was with you until after midnight, I can’t imagine you got any sleep so we are getting you back to bed.”

Steve pulls down the comforter on one side and waits for her to lie down.

“I wanted to see you,” she murmurs, her heavy eyes already half closed by the time her head hits the pillow.

“Hm?”

“The reason I got out of bed so early.” He stays silent and Peggy can imagine his expression as he takes that information in. “So don’t you dare leave me alone in your bed.”

She hears footsteps and then the rustling of the comforter being pulled back. She can feel the warmth coming off his body. She feels his hand come up to brush her hair away from her face. Peggy forces her quickly succumbing body to shift closer to him so that he was clear on her message.

“Sleep Steve.”

She can feel his arm slip over her and she lets out a little pleased sigh.

 

*

 

Peggy wakes to gentle touches to her arm and the smell of coffee. She blinks awake and Steve’s right there next to her, propped up on an elbow and watching her with a soft smile. Sunlight streaks through the windows.

“Good morning Peggy.”

She stretches her legs and turns to face him.

“Good morning Steve.” She tucks her head into his chest, his arms gathering her close. She presses a kiss to his chest just over his heart.

“I know you prefer tea first thing, but I thought you could use the caffeine.”

She hums her agreement. “What time is it?”

“Eight-thirty. Figured if your bus is leaving at eleven you may need some time packing up your things.”

She curls an arm around him and inhales, trying to memorize the comforting smell of him.

“I’m packed. I thus choose to spend my rapidly disappearing time here with you.”

Peggy’s pleased to know that his smiles still make her stomach flip even now that they’ve agreed that they have something between them.

“I can make you breakfast.”

She hums, propping herself up on an elbow. “Kiss first. Coffee second. And then we can have breakfast.”

He laughs and pulls her down for a kiss. She brings him back for a second. And then a deeper third.

“We should have done this earlier,” she tells him.

“Kissing? We would have done nothing else.”

“Don’t care.” He laughs into another kiss. “Now I have to leave and I don’t have my fill.”

“We’ve got time Peggy,” he murmurs in a low voice, his face coming to nuzzle her neck. “I plan on kissing you for a long time.”

She feels that strange prick of tears again.

“You should know, it is really unfair of you to spring your incredibly kind and generous heart on an unsuspecting girl who was just trying to make it through a horribly misguided business retreat.”

He kisses her hard.

“It’s equally unfair of you to waltz into my resort and steal my heart without me even realizing it.”

“I guess we’re just going to have to figure out a way to make it up to each other.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he grins with an amused twinkle.

“Please do hold me to that,” she teases.

He clears his throat. “Drink your coffee Peggy.”

She stretches out their morning cuddle as long as possible, but with a ticking clock and a gurgling stomach they finally leave Steve’s bed to have breakfast.

“So this is your cabin?” Now that she’s awake she takes in all in, marveling at his efforts to modernize the interior. There are large windows surrounding the open plan first floor. She loves it. She loves how warm and cozy it is without feeling claustrophobic. She loves the modern light fixtures and the grand fireplace in the living room. She can picture curling on the sofa with him right there. “It’s gorgeous.”

Steve takes hold of her waist. “You’re gorgeous.”

Peggy laughs and steps up on tip-toe to kiss him.

“Breakfast please, charmer.”

They cook together. Eggs, bacon, fried potatoes. She feels at home. And when the time comes to leave she feels a keen pain in her chest.

“I can walk you back to your room at least.”

Peggy shakes her head, her throat thick with unexpected emotion.

“If you do I will not leave. And as much as I want to stay right here with you I have to be at work tomorrow morning.”

He nods and pulls her into another tight hug.

“We’ll be back together soon. Just you wait Peggy Carter, I’ll make you sick of my face.”

“I won’t ever be sick of that face,” she tells him. “Thank you Steve. This week… spending all this time with you has been the best surprise.”

He smiles. “I’m so glad we were able to connect. And I cannot wait to see you again soon.”

An hour later, as she sits at a window seat on the bus, more than a dozen of her coworkers visibly hungover or grumpy, she takes a long sweeping look of the Main Lodge, eyeing the cheerful welcome sign with a smile.

She’ll be back.

An hour away from the city, she’s ignoring the bickering, something about some sort of argument that broke out after she left the party, with music, most of it making her think of Steve. And just as she thinks about him, a text alert shows up on her home screen. It’s from Steve. There’s two photos.

The first is the photo she suspected he took of her and Rosie. The second mirrors the first. It’s a photo of Steve and Rosie. He’s grinning so brightly it makes her heart full.

_We miss you already! Can’t wait for another adventure._

Peggy’s grin splits and she presses the phone to her heart. Yes, there’s definitely something she’ll be back for.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song that Peggy recognizes when Steve and her have a drink, particularly with her getting a little moony-eyed as the lyrics “Oh, 's wonderful, 's marvelous that you should care for me” play over their date.


End file.
